For this instalment of the ongoing Recettear Fun Times of Fun, I’ve been joined by my fiancée, Hannah. She’s a bit of a gamer herself, but she’s never heard of this particular game, so this should be fun.
A quick note on how we did this: I played the game while she watched, and recorded what we both said. If you see a sentence in italics, and preceded by a C or an H, that means it’s something she or I (C for Chris, H for Hannah) said verbatim. Everything else is just my normal interjections.
First thing I had to do was get us back into the dungeon, since the game won’t let you save halfway through one.
C: Okay, so this is Recettear. We are…
H: Do we own all these places?
C: Sadly not.
We head to the dungeon and outfit ourselves with the same equipment as we had when I popped in at the end of part 3 (which is to say, two loaves of walnut bread).
C: So this guy is Louie, he’s our friend… hang on. That’s Recette. She’s a little girl. For some reason, her dad decided to be an adventurer and ran off, so –
H: Does she have a mum?
C: Not a clue. So her dad had this massive debt with a loan company owned by fairies, so she – Tear – came to collect the debt. Basically, cos we couldn’t pay it back, she was like ‘well, you’ll have to open an item shop, then, to pay it back’
H: Oh, that’s quite considerate.
C: It’s a weird loan company. So we had our grand opening, but we didn’t have any stock, so we went and bought some… yeah, I know.
H: Who do we buy the stock from?
C: There’s a Merchants’ Guild, this guy called Reg, he’s great. So as you can tell, we really haven’t thought this through very well. What we’re doing today is getting some stock, which we’re doing by going to a dungeon. But we’re just shopkeepers, we’re not adventurers, so we hired this guy – Louie – to come to the dungeon with us and we’re gonna go look in the dungeon.
H: So does this fairy just follow us around to make sure we’re gonna pay her back?
C: She kind of helps us out, but I can’t tell whether she really wants to or not. OH MY GOD SLIME. I don’t – it hasn’t actually told me how to fight, so… Z is fight… oh no, I just used a special attack. Okay, let’s take out this slime.
H: He’s not very good.
C: Basically, Louie can attack stuff…
H: We can just buy stuff?
C: We can pick stuff up, and if Louie gets hurt we can kind of drag him into our magic field and get out of there – what?
H: We just drag him away?
C: Yeah. We just horribly emasculate him, but whatever. Oh, shit –
C: Special, special, oh my god… oh, we levelled up! This is hard, I’m trying to take screenshots at the same time and it’s not very easy. More slime, hello slime… So hitting from behind does more damage – ooh, apple!
Side note: I really was not very good at taking screenshots during this bit. You’ll just have to trust me when I say that we beat up a few slimes, learned how to do a special attack that strikes in a circle, and gathered some experience points. And an apple.
H: Pick it up! Time for the… lady to show what she can do
C: I don’t know how to pick it up!
H: Swipe it?
C: I don’t know what button to press…
H: Swipe it, ya loser – oh, look, there you go.
C: Ooh, apple plus one. So basically we have a stock, and everything has a base price – what’s that?
H: Check it out.
Walking into the magical circle, which I totally thought was probably a trap designed to kill me the first time I saw it, warps us to the second floor of the dungeon.
C: Oh, next floor! Holy crap, let’s do it. Okay, so everything we have in our shop has a base price; people come in and pick up what they want. They try to haggle for it, so we say we want X amount of money for a particular thing and they usually say ‘nah, that’s too much, can I have it a bit cheaper?’
H: And you say no and kick them out.
H: Hey, boots!
C: Picking up the boots!
H: So are you just looting the dungeon? There’s not like a shop down here that you’re trying to find?
C: Yup, just looting.
H: And so far you’ve got… an apple and a pair of boots.
C: Apple and a pair of boots, yup.
H: That someone apparently just dropped down here at some point…
C: Yeah, I don’t know who, maybe our dead dad or something?
We proceed through the second floor of the dungeon, encountering a few green and red slimes and not much else. They drop items helpfully called ‘slimes’, which we can take and, I’m guessing, sell when we get back.
H: I don’t like the look of that red guy.
C: Ooh, question mark. Hey, I got an ingredient! And it’s a dead end.
H: To the right!
C: I’m just wailing on this guy, hitting him over and over until he dies, basically…
This one slime has a lot of health, for no good reason. I keep smacking him, which prevents him from attacking back; he goes down eventually, though I’d have been in trouble if there’d been more than one.
C: So, um, I don’t actually know how to get out of here, that wasn’t explained. Maybe there’s something about it in the pause menu?
I have a quick root around in the pause menu, and find nothing of use. Hannah does spot the calendar, though.
H: Oh shit, you’ve got a payment due soon.
C: Yeah, the only reason Recette’s running the item shop is so she can pay Tear’s company back, and we have payments due… luckily, it’s a really weird loan where they just help you run an item shop. But yeah, our dad just disappeared. Got into a fight with a dragon.
H: I bet he just ran off to avoid the debt.
C: Dick move.
We proceed through the dungeon, killing slimes and looting their flesh. There are also a few treasure chests scattered about, which don’t tend to contain anything any better than the random crap lying around on the floor and stuff. Hannah gets a bit hung up on the whole ‘Recette’s dad is a dick’ theory.
H: I mean, did you see the dragon fight happen?
C: Tear showed us a picture…
H: Oh, wow, a picture. I bet they have Photoshop, though.
C: But she seems so trustworthy. Level up again!
H: Get the goat man!
C: I’m trying to get the goat man, this is acutally quite hard to do! There we go… Should I just keep going or turn around?
H: You know you’ve got a map in the corner
C: Oh, yeah. Do you think we should explore the whole of each floor before moving on?
H: Probably a good idea, you don’t want to miss more apples and boots. What’s that?
C: Slime fluid! I bet someone will really want to buy that.
H: That slime’s running away from you. I bet it’s cos you got a rep.
C: I got a rep?
H: All the slimes are like ‘oh shit, that fairy’s gonna knife us’.
C: Louie doesn’t have much of a rep, the only reason he’s agreed to come with us is cos he coulnd’t get into the Advenutres guild without passing some tests but he didn’t have the money and items to do it, so we’re helping him out in return for him helping us out.
H: You’re giving this guy money too?
C: No, he’s doing this for free but he needs someone to help him with items and stuff and that’s what we’re here for, so… we both get something out of the deal.
H: More goats!
C: I fear goat!
H: He’s getting closer!
These goats are real dicks. The slimes just sort of bounce, but the goat-men charge and throw stuff, which is a nightmare.
C: I don’t know how to get out of here!
H: Maybe we just have to clear all the floors?
C: I hope so, otherwise we’re stuck forever.
H: I think if you hit the slimes as they’re bouncing towards you it’s a critical hit.
C: I reckon maybe the bounce is an attack, so we get a bonus for a counterattack?
H: A medallion! That’s the fanciest thing yet.
C: I smell profit!
At this point, we turn a corner and find ourselves ambushed by a ton of the goat dudes. I was so shocked I completely forgot to take a screenshot.
H: OH SCARED
C: I do NOT like the goats. Hat! [We picked up a hat.]
H: Look out!
C: I don’t like how fast they come towards me, I don’t have time to attack first!
H: You just have to get through them all.
C: I think I might just have to run through… don’t really want to risk dying though, cos if he dies we can only bring one item back.
H: Heh. Harsh.
C: IT is a bit harsh, but I guess it’s to encourage not death, otherwise you’d just do a suicide run where you run in, get as much as you can then get killed on purpose.
H: Like bin Laden!
C: I… what? …. What?
I spend a while just wondering what the hell she’s on about. As she realises almost as soon as we stop recording, she didn’t actually mean bin Laden at all, she meant John Darwin. Easily confused, I suppose.
H: I reckon we should explore the whole floor, might have missed something really good
C: It might be that the better items are on higher floors.
H: There better be better items, this stock collection has sucked… Oh, hey – it’s Sudowoodo!
C: Three Sudowoodo!
These guys aren’t too bad. They’re sturdier than the slimes, but not as quick as the goats. Defeating enemies causes them to drop little gems which look rather like Zelda-style rupees, and which I infer are probably experience points for Louie.
H: So what are these things they drop? Money?
C: Nah, 15pix is our money –
H: Not a lot.
C: Yeah, we’re not very good at economics.
More goats at this point.
H: Oh, they’re throwing rocks! Can you use the shield you found?
C: I need to find a way out, this isn’t going well… oh, wait, I do have some walnut bread!
H: Pfff. What’s that going to do?
C: Hey, don’t laugh at my walnut bread.
H: What’s that gonna do? You gonna throw it at them?
C: Maybe I can use it – yeah, got some health back.
H: We could do with just finding the exit now…
C: Very true… we did just level up again, though, so we’re back to full health at least.
C: At least you can tell from the map whether a room’s worth going into or if it’s got a chest or enemies or dead end.. To be honest, I just wanna get out of here now and go sell some stuff. It’s weird, cos I hated working in retail but selling stuff is actually fun in this – OH HELL
We get set upon by a whole army of goats, trees and slimes. Again, I completely fail to take a screenshot, but trust me when I say that I just take them out in the most excellent way. I definitely don’t scream and run away. Definitely not.
H: Run! Dodge! Run!
C: Smash the goats’ faces, see if there’s treasure… there isn’t.
H: Oh, here we go, this looks like the end! Maybe there’ll be some extra decent treasure like some… bigger boots. Or a goat just jumps out and throws a rock at you.
C: Aw, Louie’s proud of himself. Hurray! Okay, so it’s all thanks to us, well done, blah blah.
H: Whoa, she’s a bit of a slutty fairy!
C: She is a bit immodestly dressed, come to think of it.
Tear protests that we’re all misunderstanding her, but it’s okay. We’re all just in this for the cash, let’s face it.
C: Shouldn’t be that surprised; her whole shtick is that she’s a debt collector –
H: Open the chest!
C: She said we should investigate! There might be traps and stuff!
C: Oh, right, this is the card that gets him into the Adventurer’s Guild. We didn’t do all of this for some postcards, don’t worry.
H: Oh, that’s cool. I was wondering, who are we sending postcards to from a dungeon anyway? ‘Wish you were here’?
C: So he gives us his business card, basically, and then we can hire him in future. We can all go dungeoneering again!
Recette asks if he’s sure about this, which seems a dumb question after they went to all this trouble for exactly this reason.
H: It’s like he’s giving us his virginity. Cute.
A door appears after this, which is a bit of a relief since we still haven’t actually been told how to get out of here.
C: Magic door!
H: It’s a door, obviously.
At this point, Hannah pops off to make a cup of tea. While she does that, Tear explains that the door is a ‘Goho – oh, wait, no, a Door of Return’. I didn’t quite get this, but apparently it’s a joke referring to either Doraemon, Persona or Disgaea. She also explains that they generally appear about every five levels in a dungeon, and it’s usually worth popping out to save, avoid having to start again from the beginning, and all that good stuff. The only downside is that we’ll have to re-hire our adventurer if we leave and come back.
We go through the door, thus completing our adventures in the Hall of Trials.
Upon clearing the dungeon, we get a nice little inventory of everything we picked up in there. Not a bad haul!
Hannah returns, expecting great things to have happened while she was off boiling the kettle.
H: Are we a rival to Tesco yet?
C: Not quite.
H: Damn it.
C: We’ve gone back to town. It’s dark, but some places are lit up – I guess these are the ones that are open. We could go pub – you want to go pub?
H: Er… okay? Or we could just go back to the shop and see if we can actually sell any of this stuff. What would we do in a pub anyway?
C: I dunno. We do need to put all this stuff on display I guess… oh, wow, it’s pretty valuable.
H: So we just put it on show?
C: Yup, we’re doing visual merchandising!
C: The stuff near the window draws people in – whoaaa! Look how valuable the boots are!
H: So people come in and go ‘oh, hey, just browsing’?
C: Oh look, there’s an ‘atmosphere according to Tear’.
I don’t know what this means as such; hopefully somebody will explain later. Looks like a potentially customer-affecting variable, anyway.
C: If I sit at the counter I can open the store, but it’ll be night time, presumably.
H: A customer! His wife asked him to pick up a staff. Weird.
C: Most of the stores apparently mark up about 30%, so…
H: 50 pix extra?
C: More than that!
H: 5… thousand.
C: How about..
C: He’ll try to haggle… okay, 400 is about 33%.
H: He’ll take it! Success.
C: Hey, that’s cool. Exceeded expectations!
H: By selling walnut bread and staff.
C: Better than nothing.
H: So that was day 2?
C: That’s day 2 guys! We did it!
H: I swear you’ve been playing this game for ages and you’ve done two days.
C: Well, I’ve probably only been playing for about 30 minutes. The problem is how long it takes to do the screenshots…
H: Oh, she’s got a suggestion?
C: Hm… she suggests smaller payments to chip away at it.
H: Damn right. What’s the APR?
C: Actually a very important question that I don’t think she ever covered.
C: She never actually told us what our dad took the loan out for either…
H: I reckon she’s bullshitting you.
C: It’s a scam?
H: Well, yeah. She doesn’t look like someone who knows finance, does she?
C: Not exactly… when she introduced herself, she said she worked for a finance company, and Recette’s response was ‘what’s a finance and whats a company?’
H: I am completely unsurprised.
H: Oh, good, I was beginning to worry we wouldn’t be paying back a stupidly big amount of money.
C: I guess that wraps up day 2!
Next time: WE MAKE DOLLARS, HOPEFULLY